Today was the best day. Today I returned to the capable main carer of two hot, hyper, tired kids. It was amazing. From 10-4 we ran around the farmyard looking for fairies, we painted pottery, we dealt with the inevitable tantrums, we picnicked,ice creamed and saw the circus show.I possibly spoilt them more than usual (the balloon animal and glitter tattoos would probably have been vetoed had I not spent a lot of the summer in hospital or being supervised).
I'm me, I've reclaimed a bit of me. My two sweaty, dirty kids have had their mum back. They responded well to me being in charge again. Adequate boundary pushing, not too much though, and of course there were disagreements and stamping feet. I dealt with it, calmly, responsively and we all survived.
Praise God for today, for my kids, for joy and for not letting me give up so I can still be here and be a mum!
Pretty much exactly 5 months after my last church attendance I returned today. Since my last time I had only seen 3 people from the congregation face to face. People who live in my town. Who I've seen at least twice a week for years, I'd seen so few of them. Children had grown. Newborn babies now starting to move. Barely bumps now earth side. There were a few new faces too. We decided to go today because we had been invited for Sunday lunch by a couple from church. The sweet, kind hearted, godly doctor who was on duty the weekend I was first taken to hospital. I didn't give myself a choice this morning. I'd set up an excuse not to go for lunch already. Our car was broken. It was true, it was, but I knew it would be fixed in time to go. So I got up and we went. I'd spoken with my counsellor about not feeling it was my home any longer. That I wasn't part of the fellowship anymore. That physically I didn't know where to sit. Our usual seats, middle,front, with ...
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