Why is sleep so easy to come by come 7 am. A sleepless night, tossing and turning, over thinking, heart racing. By the time the children wake I'm just about ready to sleep again. I try not to nap. In the hope that by the night I will sleep. No joy though.
Today I will try to keep busy. I plan to clean out the pets, hoover and wrap some presents. That's my goal. My challenge. My experiment. Someone once told me to think of challenge as an experiment. There's no failure in an experiment. Just results. Either expected or unexpected. So today my experiment is to do some housework and try not to nap.
My hypothesis is that I will not be motivated to do that. I will turn on the TV and fall asleep on the sofa. Waking having wasted another day.
Pretty much exactly 5 months after my last church attendance I returned today. Since my last time I had only seen 3 people from the congregation face to face. People who live in my town. Who I've seen at least twice a week for years, I'd seen so few of them. Children had grown. Newborn babies now starting to move. Barely bumps now earth side. There were a few new faces too. We decided to go today because we had been invited for Sunday lunch by a couple from church. The sweet, kind hearted, godly doctor who was on duty the weekend I was first taken to hospital. I didn't give myself a choice this morning. I'd set up an excuse not to go for lunch already. Our car was broken. It was true, it was, but I knew it would be fixed in time to go. So I got up and we went. I'd spoken with my counsellor about not feeling it was my home any longer. That I wasn't part of the fellowship anymore. That physically I didn't know where to sit. Our usual seats, middle,front, with ...
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