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Have I lost you?

I feel I have lost you. We are married. We live together. There is no physical contact. You never say I love you. I get "you too" in reply to my "I love you". We sleep separately. I can't imagine how it must feel to have watched me fall. Had me run from you. I know it must be hard putting up with my obsessions, tears and confusion. I wonder where we go from here. How to make this better. Right now it seems irreparable. We don't talk. When we do it ends in a row. I know it's hard. Don't forget I've cared for you when you've been down and feeling hopeless too. I've felt the worry and the frustration. I'm sorry for the hurt I cause you. Truly I am. I just want you back. I just want things to be normal again. I don't want to carry on in this strange half life. Where I am better enough for professionals to abandon us but still mopping up the mess I've made from being unwell. The failing relationships, not just ours, the occupational stuff, the parenting whilst totally exhausted from just surviving a day. Please come back to me.
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