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Happy new year

I've taken a break over Christmas. We have had quiet days, lazy mornings and pretty much pleased ourselves. Having a break from everything gave me a chance to forget. A chance to not cry about how lost and lonely I am. A time of no expectations and to just be. That can't last though and tomorrow real life begins again. A new year is a new milestone. Another time ticked off by which I thought I would be better. My care coordinator is keen for a meeting to reassure me about church. He says it is a big part of who I am. Unfortunately I feel it is a big part of who I was. I am not her anymore. She died. She's gone. I'm not sure that's a good thing.

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