It's been very stressful. My son has been seriously ill. My daughter farmed off to various relatives and me loosing all control of my life and ending up in hospital, not eating, crying and sleeping. Today is 15 days post med change. This evening I was relaxed. Laughing. Worried about my boy. Worried about my relationship with my husband but much more at peace. Calmer. Hopeful. Just a small breakthrough was all I needed. I know every day won't feel like this but hopefully having my kids and my home back will help me find that sense of purpose again. I think a very honest chat with my father in law helped too. An unlikely confidant who admits having no experience but was encouraging, loving and kind. Hope. I have hope.
How do you get better? How do you recover? Do you suddenly wake with hope? Do you feel differently? Do you just notice after it has happened? What is recovery? Is recovery real? How long does recovery take? Is it even possible? How will I know what recovery looks like? Why does it take so long? So long I gave up hope. What do I need to do now? To end this nightmare forever. I don't know how much longer I can bear this. How can I continue? To face another day. It feels like this will never end. They say it happens slowly. That recovery is possible for me. Do they really know that? Can it really be true? Is recovery possible? Is there a flicker of hope? Or is it just a fairy tale that's not truth? Each day that passes by, Hope slips further away. I feel this is life forever. The tunnel light seems dimmer. No hope, no light, just darkness forever more. I cannot see past this. The pain overwhelms me. I'm deep in a pit of despair. Recovery is a ...
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