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psychotherapy

Today I had an assessment for psychotherapy. I've waited 3 months and sessions will be another 4-6 months wait. It's fascinating and weird. I'm not sure I like it! A calm lady with an intense stare. The links she made were fascinating. Some more obscure than others. Her use of the phrase "pissed off" was fairly calming. Her comments about how understandable my depression and high expectations were was both saddening and reassuring. It's ok to be hurt. It's right to feel betrayed by my friend, unsupported by my manager. These are valid feelings. I don't need to hide them away and punish myself for having them. It's just such a long time to wait. It's also long term, which is disappointing in terms of recovering and getting back to normal. Another 18 months possibly. Following this appointment I had a very thorough assessment, confirming this was an episode of depression, triggered by stress but probably a result of genetics. He had confidence it was an episode, not long term. Or perhaps he was just trying to convince me not to end my life by dangling a chance of getting better, however realistic or not that is.

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