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Rumination

Today my head has been full of voices. Going round and round. I hear N. I hear M. I hear S, my mum. Round and round and round. I know I shouldn't argue or try and make sense of them but instead notice, acknowledge and move on. I've tried distraction. I practice mindfulness. I don't say it's a bad day, or what is spinning round my head because I get called obsessive. I ruminate on things I've done, on what others have said or might say, what has happened and may happen. Over and over and over. My imagination takes over, filling in any gaps. Ruminating causes my anxiety to soar. I avoid people and places. Ruminating regularly makes me doubt what I hear and understand. Am I correctly recalling? It also leaves me vulnerable to others, who are able to tell me I am imagining things even though z I am not.

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