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Excluded

I wasn't prepared to feel this way. I wasn't prepared to feel close to tears when my child came home from your care.

I wasn't prepared to pretend to smile at his work and songs and joy whilst burying the physical ache in my chest.

I wasn't expecting to feel this exhausted and this alone. I wasn't expecting that yet another professional questioning your judgements and decision making to make me feel more conflicted then ever.

I wasn't expecting to still feel so heartbroken after all this time. To miss the you. To miss the hard work. To miss me.

I wasn't expecting this to happen at all though. So I guess it shouldn't be a surprise. I don't know what happens now.

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