"Sometimes holding on can cause more pain than letting go"
I saw this quote a long with a picture of a rope burned hand clinging to a rope, and an uninjured hand having let go of the rope.
Holding on is causing me so much pain. Holding on to hope of repaired relationships and receiving no feedback. Holding on to regaining normality when it just pulls further and further away the longer it goes on. Holding on to life when, for me at least, it doesn't seem worth the pain.
Holding on is certainly causing more pain than letting go. I'm semi convinced those holding on to me are also prolonging their pain. Perhaps the people who have already 'let me go' are actually an example. Free from my neediness, my sadness, they can live. They can return to a normality that having me in their life just doesn't afford.
They, perhaps, have also seen this quote, that holding on can cause more pain than letting go. Who can blame them?
Pretty much exactly 5 months after my last church attendance I returned today. Since my last time I had only seen 3 people from the congregation face to face. People who live in my town. Who I've seen at least twice a week for years, I'd seen so few of them. Children had grown. Newborn babies now starting to move. Barely bumps now earth side. There were a few new faces too. We decided to go today because we had been invited for Sunday lunch by a couple from church. The sweet, kind hearted, godly doctor who was on duty the weekend I was first taken to hospital. I didn't give myself a choice this morning. I'd set up an excuse not to go for lunch already. Our car was broken. It was true, it was, but I knew it would be fixed in time to go. So I got up and we went. I'd spoken with my counsellor about not feeling it was my home any longer. That I wasn't part of the fellowship anymore. That physically I didn't know where to sit. Our usual seats, middle,front, with ...
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