This is a really difficult post to write.
I have lost my faith. I find no comfort in reading the bible. I no longer hear God speaking to me. I can't find the words to pray. I feel no comfort when others say they are praying for me.
I'm sad. I'm heartbroken. I believe in God. That's not enough to make you a christian though. I have no relationship with God anymore. No desire to serve him.
So from passionate bible teacher to a hopeless, faithless individual is complete.
I lost my community a while ago. Fellowship with other christians has become impossible for me. I have clung onto hope that if I prayed and read the bible I would be healed. Everything would be ok.
So there we go. The last shred of my identity gone. I'm no longer a professional. I'm no longer primary carer for my children. I'm no longer in Children's ministry. I'm no longer with Christ.
I'm not sure where to go from here.
Tomorrow is a new day, Full of new promises, When you rush through the day, Tomorrow is always there to say, Don't worry tomorrow it can be done, Tomorrow we can try again. Tomorrow's exciting promise, Every morning when you wake. A bit more time to finish today. More time to play They say Don't leave till tomorrow, Why you can do today. Sometimes tomorrow seems the same. Tomorrow is so different from today. No joy before you settle down, Tomorrow you'll still feel like you'll drown. What if tomorrow never came? What if today was the end. Would you regret the things you put off? Would you ponder if that phonecall, That text, that knock on the door, Shouldn't have been tomorrow's chore? Would you beg for another tomorrow? Would you mourn your yesterday. Today someone needs you. That phone call can't wait. A chat, a cuddle, a hand to hold, Responding may mean more than gold. So don't put it off, don't delay. Someone...
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