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Confession

I've been a terrible person. I've been a terrible friend. All I've done is taken. I've cried. I've needed. You never gained from our relationship. It's no wonder you've gone now. I don't blame you. I'm sorry you put up with it for so long. I'm a terrible daughter. I grew tired of caring. I went away to forge my own world. It's ended up no different from ours. I'm a terrible wife. I played on your want to save me and make me happy. I allowed you to make life choices that shouldn't have been and now you carry the consequences. I'm a fraud. In my church and professional life. I wanted to be exceptional. I wanted to be the one who made a difference. In reality pretending became too hard and I let you down. I failed. I'm selfish and of no use. A burden to all who have the misfortune of knowing me. The pretence is gone. The fight to be who I pretended to be diminished. The buck stops here. You are right and I am wrong. I'm so jealous of your perfection. How you manage. How you can love. How you are never wrong. The total opposite of me. I'm sorry.

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