It's been very stressful. My son has been seriously ill. My daughter farmed off to various relatives and me loosing all control of my life and ending up in hospital, not eating, crying and sleeping. Today is 15 days post med change. This evening I was relaxed. Laughing. Worried about my boy. Worried about my relationship with my husband but much more at peace. Calmer. Hopeful. Just a small breakthrough was all I needed. I know every day won't feel like this but hopefully having my kids and my home back will help me find that sense of purpose again. I think a very honest chat with my father in law helped too. An unlikely confidant who admits having no experience but was encouraging, loving and kind. Hope. I have hope.
Pretty much exactly 5 months after my last church attendance I returned today. Since my last time I had only seen 3 people from the congregation face to face. People who live in my town. Who I've seen at least twice a week for years, I'd seen so few of them. Children had grown. Newborn babies now starting to move. Barely bumps now earth side. There were a few new faces too. We decided to go today because we had been invited for Sunday lunch by a couple from church. The sweet, kind hearted, godly doctor who was on duty the weekend I was first taken to hospital. I didn't give myself a choice this morning. I'd set up an excuse not to go for lunch already. Our car was broken. It was true, it was, but I knew it would be fixed in time to go. So I got up and we went. I'd spoken with my counsellor about not feeling it was my home any longer. That I wasn't part of the fellowship anymore. That physically I didn't know where to sit. Our usual seats, middle,front, with ...
Comments
Post a Comment