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Done

I couldn't live in limbo any more. I sent the letter. I think this is it. It really is over. I'm not sure how I feel. I'm really sad. I don't know if it was the right decision. It is at least a decision. One under my control. The weight of responsibility lies heavy on me but it's a starting point for what life could look like. I'm still anxious. Obsessively checking emails. I don't know if there will be an answer at all. I'll have to have a time when silence will be answer enough. I still feel a shadow of myself. I cannot imagine a new life but I cannot live waiting to grieve for an old life which would never return. New things are tricky for our family. Three introverts and a boy who dearly loves his church family. Perhaps this is selfish of me. Perhaps we should carry-on on the edge of the fellowship. Perhaps this is an opportunity. Perhaps God's purpose has been revealed. Perhaps He wants us somewhere else. I just don't know. Lord I pray you use this situation to bring you glory and for us to do your will in accordance with your plans for us. Please help us work through this as a family. Please show us where you want us to be and let us be willing to listen. Amen.

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