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You are tired. I am sorry.

You have done all the right things.

Susanna commented today how lovely it was to meet you and see your care and concern for me. It obviously reassured her  that somebody loved me.

You have said this isn't my fault. This isn't a choice. You have done the school run. Checked on me and left me to sleep and write in bed.

Now you are tired. You are worried and you are weighed down. You are short with me and the children and you don't know what you are supposed to do or how you are supposed to feel.

We are on our own with this. I am weighed down with the pain of watching your heartbreak. I am full of shame for my inactivity, my selfishness and the frustration I sometimes have when I don't know what to do or you become overwhelmed.

We have been failed. I am sorry that you have had to endure this. I'm sorry I can't stop this. I'm sorry this isn't how it was supposed to be.

This is not fair. It's not good enough. Don't you see this is why I feel I need to free you? Give you some certainty. Return some of our support to you, because they have only stopped because of their feelings towards me. I need you to be free. I need you to move forward and be able to live. I cannot bear watching what I have done to you.

I love you and I am sorry.

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